Bercianos del Real Camino

9:30pm

Albergue Bercianos 1900

Whereas yesterday was among my favorite walks so far, today was one of my least. A whole lot of that had to do with a major bad-itude that I woke up with and just couldn’t shake. It was hard to get out of bed, it was hard to compare today’s heat and gravel and stickiness with yesterday’s beauty and lightning and thunder. And I just couldn’t snap myself out of it. For one thing, our first little rest stop of the day involved a bartender laughing in my face and belittling me for making a Spanish mistake. SORRY DUDE, I’m trying my best here! This was so very shocking based on the unbelievably warm and friendly hospitality we have received up until this point, and that combined with my already thin ice mood almost took me to my breaking point. And that was only a few kilometers in. 

But I DID see this handsome devil just off the trail... 

The next few kilometers were pretty ok. I put myself in podcast timeout so I wouldn’t subject my dad to my short fuse (though it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before). We arrived in the outskirts of Sahagun around 1pm, where we passed through two statues which identify the HALFWAY POINT of our journey. 

Half.

Way.

There.

I can’t believe it. I feel so accomplished, and it’s nuts to think we’ve walked over 250 miles. On the other hand, I am reeeaaalllyyy understanding why people refer to this stage as the mental one. It’s such a mind game every day, walking through these long stretches and being able to see a town a few miles before you reach it, making it look like we’re walking on a treadmill. Not making any progress. And the halfway point is SO encouraging, but also makes me think, "Wait, so... we’re doing that again? Haven’t we been here like A YEAR?" 

I wouldn’t rather be anywhere else. There’s no doubt about that. But boy oh boy, it pushes me to my limits in really every way. 

The straw that really broke the camel’s back today was a very poorly marked intersection at which we took a wrong turn and added a little over a mile to our day. At the end of our day. No thank you!! Not in my plans, not cool.

But the thing about this journey is, what the heck are you going to do when things don’t go according to plan, or are uncomfortable? All we have is right now, where we are. The packs on our backs, the shoes on our feet, the dusty ground before us. Our culture as a whole tends to make every attempt possible to avoid ANY discomfort. Hungry? Why wait! Have a Snickers. The hunger most of us feel isn’t actually hunger. Not the kind that makes us wonder if we’ll make it until the next day. And heaven forbid we ever be bored. With all the ways we can connect with people and the world at large in an instant, there’s no excuse for that! Boredom is uncomfortable, because maybe then we’ll actually feel our feelings. And that’s scary. We are a culture of distraction. And I’m soooo guilty of it. 

But here, that’s not an option. What the heck are you going to do when the you-know-what hits the fan out here? Well, you’re going to keep walking. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and walk. No mental bail-outs around these parts. And what it’s teaching me is that my mind isn’t as scary a place as I am afraid it will be when I let it wander in discomfort. And I can do it. I can sit in it. I can actually feel my feelings, let them move through me, and discover that I’m still walking. I’m still moving forward. The next moment of beauty still awaits me. I won’t lie to you, the walk didn’t get any easier with these optimistic thoughts. It was still hot. It was still really disappointing to take that wrong turn. It was still over 18 miles. But we did it. 

A difficult day helps me see and appreciate the immeasurable simplistic beauty of a satisfying meal. A cold beverage. A bed. A nap. The sound of cow bells drifting in through the window as we fall asleep. I don’t need constant mental stimulation to make it through the day. 

And I hope I don’t soon forget any of these simple wonders.