A Pena

10pm

Casa do Rego

I can’t explain why, but today was perhaps one of the very most exhausting days of the trip so far for me. From start to finish, I was just. so. tired. My body and pack felt heavy, my feet and right knee ached, and it just felt like a huge task to walk the almost 15 miles we had planned. Not that walking 15 miles isn’t always a bit of a task... because it IS. But it’s what we do! Getting from point A to point B around here is by way of the heel-toe express. 

The morning was absolutely beautiful, unsurprisingly. We arrived in Sarria, which felt so surreal, because from the very beginning this has been a far-off accomplishment. The place where 40% of those who earn a Compostela will start. The last place you can start to walk far enough to qualify for one. And we certainly noticed the crowd thickening at this point! It’s hard not to feel a little resentful of their clean clothes, fresh muscles, and shoes with tread... but we’re all doing this thing. Every Camino is different. 

We had eaten breakfast around 8am before leaving Pintín, so when we stopped in Sarria for a drink it felt too soon to eat. I would live to regret that decision however, when we later found ourselves in a 10km  stretch without ANY place to eat, and it was 4pm before our next meal. When you’re already exhausted and dehydrated and it’s 90 degrees outside with 1,000% humidity, I don’t recommend erasing food from the equation. The first bar we came upon felt like an oasis in the desert, and the bocadillo, Aquarius, and chips combination was manna from heaven.

During the last 3 or so kilometers of the day, I was listening to a new favorite podcast, “Terribly Funny,” with Steve Basilone. In it, he speaks to comedians about terrible things that have happened in their lives, as a way of giving a voice to the often voiceless struggles we face in life and try to mask in humor and pleasantries. This episode featured his ex-wife, Lauren. They remain best friends, because they’ve known each other since they were 11, and because their marriage ended when Lauren realized she’s gay. Not because they hate each other, but because they can’t love each other that way. That’s completely irrelevant in terms of my reasoning for bringing up the podcast, but it’s fascinating and important when it comes to understanding their dynamic. At the end of every show, Steve asks his guest what advice they might have for people facing similar difficult life circumstances. Pertaining to whatever reason they were chosen for the show. He posed this question to Lauren as well. Lauren is a writer for Orange is the New Black. And she shared that she was going through a difficult time career-wise recently, when she felt a lot of pressure to show up to pitch meetings with these incredible new ideas and material. She talked to her therapist about this and how hard it is to feel like she has to conceal her reality and make it seem as though she has a lot more to contribute, because it feels like her “one shot” to impress them. And this is where her advice comes in. She said her therapist said something that has stuck with her, which she thinks about every single day: 

“You know Lauren... 

there’s only the truth. 

There’s only the truth.

All you can do, is represent your truth.”

Lauren has experienced an immense amount of grief and loss in her life, which was the primary focus of her episode. She went on to say that thinking of this mantra every day has given her the power to say things like, “My truth today is that I can’t get off the couch.” She has learned that “the only truth is the truth.” We need to live OUR truths each and every day, big or small, or else we waste our time and energy. 

I cried as I listened to this revelation (SHOCKER). It’s so simple. So why is it so hard? There is only the truth. It’s all we have. Why can’t we live in our truth and spend less time trying to make it sound better or different than it is? We don’t have the capacity. My post yesterday highlighted a small moment of realizing and living my truth. “Yes, I’m uncomfortable here.” And it was ok. It was accepted. Maybe more experiences like this will encourage me to live out bigger truths. 

I will need to remind myself to live by this wisdom on a daily basis, but I have a feeling it will be worth it. 

Soon after my podcast cry, we reached an amazing milestone. 100 kilometers left. WHHAAATT??? The last 100 kilometers of our 800 kilometer journey. So many feelings. 

And the other good news when it comes to this milestone is that this particular marker lies just across the street from our lovely home for the night, Casa do Rego. My parents stayed here two years ago, and felt immediately welcomed like family. Today was no different. Carol greeted us warmly and showed us to our room, where we showered and headed back down for a drink before dinner. She makes a mean “tinto de verano,” made of red wine and lemon soda. Ohhhhh wow. Served with walnuts from their very own tree. And that was just the prelude to one of our most incredible meals of the trip, homemade vegetable crepes with a cheese sauce and potatoes. Carol’s husband Lorenzo is the cook. I asked if he’d ever made this before, and she replied, “No, it’s special for you.” They know we’re vegetarians, and prepared this masterpiece just for us. Again... like family. 

Their adorable 7-year-old daughter Mireia was there as well, teaching me dance moves and chatting with us and her parents in Spanglish. Carol is from the Philippines and knows probably 5 languages, Mireia knows a few as well because Carol practices English with her and she learns from pilgrims, and Lorenzo is semi-conversational in English but speaks mostly Spanish. These conversations are magical, no matter what language. Interpersonal connection goes so much deeper. 

Our meal was finished with homemade ice cream and a “digestif” after-dinner shot. That’s right, a shot. As if I wasn’t tired enough after this long day and a tinto de verano, I’m surprised my eyes are even open wide enough to type this blog. 

Once again, the Camino never ceases to amaze. What began (and continued through most of the day) as an immense challenge and test of my strength and will, finished feeling as though I was in the living room of close friends or family. If I allow myself to feel the discomfort, really acknowledge it and allow it to move through me, I will get to the other side. It’s certainly not easy. I still need a lot of practice. 

A LOTTTTT of practice. 

But I’ll live try my best to live my truth, minute by minute, and the tides will change. They always do. 

Sometimes for the better, others for the worse. 

But there’s only ever the truth.